STATIC LIMONE

“It quenches my thirst like nothing else—and I’m in a place where thirst is incurable.”
– Willy Ways, Static Spokesman (Deceased)

Flavor Profile:

Citrus-lime glacier melt, filtered through memory. A balanced collision of lemon-lime electrolyte clarity with a whisper of vintage Gatorade and unstable voltage. Sweet but not syrupy. Zaps your tongue then leaves it buzzing like an old CRT screen.

Formula:

• 3 Volts
• 1 Regret
• 0 Carbonation

Known Effects:

• Sharp focus in fluorescent lighting
• Mild time loop déjà vu (rare)
• Spike in sketchbook activity

Discovery Log:

First spotted duct-taped to a busted vending machine outside a roller rink. Said to have been originally concocted in a garage during a blackout by former electrician and amateur citrus farmer, Gus Delacqua. Static Limone was never formally released. It simply appeared—and now it’s back.